The Venture Bros. Season premiere exceeded all expectations - and expectations were pretty damn high. In Venture tradition, Doc Hammer and Jackson Publick took every plot thread left hanging from the previous season’s cliffhanger finale, and threw them out the window. They just love leaving you hanging, and then returning with more questions than answers. It’s an awesome technique that, like Hank and Dean’s clone slugs, keeps the show from ever getting old.
Er… not that the boys have their clones anymore. Yeah, I was pretty amazed that they made it through a single episode without dying grizzly deaths. I can’t imagine how they’re going to survive the rest of the season, let alone the rest of their lives.
All bets are off, everything’s new and different. Hank’s ditched the Neckerchief for long-ish hair and Brock’s old denim jacket. H.E.L.P.eR. has a new look that could be described as either cool or horrific - it’s all in the (walking) eye of the beholder. Henchman No. 21 is is trying to overcome his grief at the loss of No. 24 with LARP therapy.
For those of you who haven’t seen the episode (which apparently includes the entire West Coast, where according to news sources, half of the episode didn’t air!), that’s all I’m going to say about the episode, other than this: Jackson and Doc have clearly enjoyed Marvel’s endless 70th anniversary shenanigans as much as I have. Let this serve as a warning to comic publishers everywhere: if you spend an entire year making a fuss about a single comic book - even if it is one of the most important comic books of all time - don’t be surprised if said comic turns up on Adult Swim, being used to house-train Hitler and wipe Sargent Hatred’s ass. After this episode, I’ll never read the Golden Age classics, or cool new takes on the era like the Marvels Project, the same way again.
Happy Anniversary! Marvel #1 was released mid-October, 1939. 70 years almost to the day later, it lives on as a poop-stained chew toy for Dog Hitler.
If you missed it, or if like me, you just want to watch the Venture premiere again and again until your eyes get all glassy, it’s already available for download from iTunes. Next week - we finally get to meet Captain Sunshine, and see him replace his fallen sidekick with a brand new Wonderboy… Hank!
I’ve been looking through the past several months of Marvel releases, and with the exception of the “Adventures” titles, I find it very hard to believe that many of the current titles will continue under Disney’s ownership without drastic editorial overhauls.
For instance, I have a hard time envisioning a Disney-approved comic in which demons climb out of Master Pandemonium’s undies to munch on his belly-fat, as in this instant classic from Ghost Rider: Heaven’s on Fire #2 .
Great, now I’ve got that Fred Schneider song “Monster in my Pants” stuck in my head.
Marvel ain’t never had a friend like Disney, and the news of the House that the Mouse (and a Hitler-loving Walt) built acquiring the House of Ideas has the rumor mill and peoples’ imaginations going wild with speculation over what sorts of changes are in store.
Personally, I have some theories, specifically about some characters who are going to be phased out of the Marvel U., or who are conveniently stuck in plot threads, which can remain unresolved - and ultimately forgotten - as the new Disneyverse comes into its own.
I suspect that, much like Norman Osborrn, Disney’s got themselves a s**t list. Let’s see, who’s first… ah! The obvious choice - young, female, Jewish, and already lost in space - all that’s left is to find Colossus a nice Shiksa to settle down with.
“Congratulations, Kitty! Our new management are such big fans of yours, they’re sending you on an all-expenses paid trip to Disneyworld! In a giant bullet! Buh-bye now!”
I’m kidding of course, I doubt that anti-Semitism will number among the many problems that will arise from the merger, but it is odd, and worth noting, that the company Martin Goodman and Stan Lee Built, which created so many of characters we that have had such an impact on our lives, is being acquired by a company which - although things have changed dramatically in the intervening decades - was at its conception the brainchild of a prominent Nazi sympathizer (that would be Walt).
Reading New Mutants #4 today really weirded me out - not just because of all the plot and character inconsistencies, but because Dani Moonstar looked about two months older than she did in this Bob McLeod illustration from 1985. Back then America’s first Zombie president was beginning his second term, and the world was marveling at the amazing new invention called the Compact Disc, while saving their pennies for one of them fancy VHS doohickies, what let you watch a Hollywood pitcher from the comfort of your very own home!
That was 25 years ago - most people reading New Mutants #4 weren’t even Zygotes yet. The people who were alive and reading comics at the time have gone from nerdy virgins to super-cool bad ass studs, to unemployed losers in need of organ transplants. All Dani did was lose here mutant and valkyrie powers, and she acts like it’s the end of the world. It was a very depressing read from that perspective.
Less depressing, but equally confusing - those 25-year-old New Mutants comics featured bright, blaring cover insignia celebrating Marvel’s 25th anniversary. 25 years later, we’re celebrating Marvel’s 70th anniversary. If you’re a comics historian, it’s not too hard to figure out - back then, they were celebrating years since publishing under the “Marvel” banner, whereas now they’re celebrating everything that ever hit the presses since the first pulp sprung from the mind of Martin Goodman, founder of Timely, which would later rename itself Marvel, but not before inventing profitable characters like Captain America and the Sub-Mariner.
Still, who goes out of their way to look older? Not Dani Moonstar, that’s for sure. Or Stan Lee. All praise to a god of comics, but seriously, he has to be like 119 or something by now, right? He was in his 30s when Martin Goodman hired him for Timely… 70 years ago.
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