Comics Cavern

Marvel ain’t never had a friend like Disney, and the news of the House that the Mouse (and a Hitler-loving Walt) built acquiring the House of Ideas has the rumor mill and peoples’ imaginations going wild with speculation over what sorts of changes are in store.

Personally, I have some theories, specifically about some characters who are going to be phased out of the Marvel U., or who are conveniently stuck in plot threads, which can remain unresolved - and ultimately forgotten - as the new Disneyverse comes into its own.

I suspect that, much like Norman Osborrn, Disney’s got themselves a s**t list. Let’s see, who’s first… ah! The obvious choice - young, female, Jewish, and already lost in space - all that’s left is to find Colossus a nice Shiksa to settle down with.

“Congratulations, Kitty! Our new management are such big fans of yours, they’re sending you on an all-expenses paid trip to Disneyworld! In a giant bullet! Buh-bye now!”

I’m kidding of course, I doubt that anti-Semitism will number among the many problems that will arise from the merger, but it is odd, and worth noting, that the company Martin Goodman and Stan Lee Built, which created so many of characters we that have had such an impact on our lives, is being acquired by a company which - although things have changed dramatically in the intervening decades - was at its conception the brainchild of a prominent Nazi sympathizer (that would be Walt).

© 2009, Comics Cavern. All rights reserved.

Related Cool Stuff:

X-Men Trilogy (X-Men / X2: X-Men United / X-Men: The Last Stand) [Blu-ray]

X-Men - The Last Stand (Widescreen Edition)

X-Men, Volume Three (Marvel Collection)

Reading New Mutants #4 today really weirded me out - not just because of all the plot and character inconsistencies, but because Dani Moonstar looked about two months older than she did in this Bob McLeod illustration from 1985. Back then America’s first Zombie president was beginning his second term, and the world was marveling at the amazing new invention called the Compact Disc, while saving their pennies for one of them fancy VHS doohickies, what let you watch a Hollywood pitcher from the comfort of your very own home!

That was 25 years ago - most people reading New Mutants #4 weren’t even Zygotes yet. The people who were alive and reading comics at the time have gone from nerdy virgins to super-cool bad ass studs, to unemployed losers in need of organ transplants. All Dani did was lose here mutant and valkyrie powers, and she acts like it’s the end of the world. It was a very depressing read from that perspective.

Less depressing, but equally confusing - those 25-year-old New Mutants comics featured bright, blaring cover insignia celebrating Marvel’s 25th anniversary. 25 years later, we’re celebrating Marvel’s 70th anniversary. If you’re a comics historian, it’s not too hard to figure out - back then, they were celebrating years since publishing under the “Marvel” banner, whereas now they’re celebrating everything that ever hit the presses since the first pulp sprung from the mind of Martin Goodman, founder of Timely, which would later rename itself Marvel, but not before inventing profitable characters like Captain America and the Sub-Mariner.

Still, who goes out of their way to look older? Not Dani Moonstar, that’s for sure. Or Stan Lee. All praise to a god of comics, but seriously, he has to be like 119 or something by now, right? He was in his 30s when Martin Goodman hired him for Timely… 70 years ago.

© 2009, Comics Cavern. All rights reserved.