Comics Cavern

Despite my general disdain for ’80s nostalgia, I have been re-reading several DC comics from that era, since it was a period of creative greatness and bold changes at the company. The kind of time, sadly, we haven’t seen in comics for a very long time. In fact, the ’80s were such a definitive period for DC that just about every book they’re currently publishing - aside from the occasional bizarre re-interpretation of Jack Kirby’s Fourth World epic - is rooted in the plots and character arcs from series like the original Wolfman/Perez New Teen Titans.

I recently commented on how much I’m enjoying re-reading that series in particular, and how remarkably well it holds up all these years after it was first published - arguably more so than even the classic Claremont/Byrne X-Men books being published at the time (let the arguing begin!). In that post, I couldn’t help but point out the amusing image above - by Curt Swan, filling in for a deadline-swamped George Perez - of Kid Flash getting intimately acquainted with Trigon during the Titans’ first run-in with Raven’s Pops.

However, I can’t help but think there’s something missing from that panel. Anything as dramatic as a face-first crash into a demon’s boy parts should be accompanied by something; a descriptive caption, a great sound effect (SPLORTCH!), or maybe some witty battle-banter from Wally:

“Hey guys, you know how Raven keeps saying we wouldn’t want to know too much about where she comes from? Well, I can confirm she’s at least half right!”

So, if you were in Marv Wolfman’s shoes, or at his typewriter, or old 1981 computer or whatever he used to script New Teen Titans Vol. 1 #5, what would you have added?

Send me ([email protected]) some text to perfect the panel, and the winner - or, if I get enough great submissions, winners - will get their names published along with their winning submission. And, as with the Comics Cavern Search Query of the Day, winners will have the opportunity to plug their blog, or e-book, or one-man off-Broadway show or whatever. Just nothing violent or hateful - unless it’s against something deserving violence or hate, in which case I’ll think it over.

So what are you waiting for? Let’s see some submissions!

We bloggers love determining how we attract readers to our sites - are we getting word-of-mouth traffic? Perhaps we’re ranking high in blog directories, or showing up in Google searches, or our buddies are linking to us from their blogs, or Tweets, or Facebook pages? Why do we care so much? Well, for one thing, we’re generally a neurotic and insecure group, and we need constant validation and love. It’s also a good way to tell if you’re doing something on your blog that readers are responding to, positively or negatively.

As for me, I mostly enjoy reading funny search queries and wondering: 1) who is searching for these phrases, and 2) why are Google, Bing and the rest causing Comics Cavern to show up in search results? It’s a hobby, and this blog gets discovered by at least one amusing search query almost every day. Last month, I got about 20 hits from people searching for “tighty whities“.

I have so much fun with this that I figured I’d start sharing some of these searches with you guys. Don’t worry, your privacy is 100% guaranteed - I am not provided with any information regarding who is doing the searching, where they’re from, or anything. And even if I did have access to your private information, I promise I would never ever abuse your trust by sharing it.

Unlike Facebook.

So let me debut this fun new feature, a glimpse into the mind of the weird (and aren’t we all? - lord knows I’ve been known to make some pretty interesting searches) - with the inaugural Comics Cavern Search of the Day! Our first winner is… “Teen Titans wedgies“!

Congratulations to the person or people who searched for metahuman butt-floss. If you would like to step forward and receive credit as the winning searcher, you can send me an e-mail ([email protected]), and I’ll let you post your name, and if you have a blog or something you want to plug you can do so, within reason. There are no strict guidelines, just nothing hateful or violent.

Food for thought: was this a search for a hot shot of Wonder Girl needing to give her spandex some breathing room, or of Ravager hazing one of the new kids with the ancient initiation rite of the underwear yank? The world may never know.

I’m hoping to see some searches for Justice Society swirlies soon!