I just stumbled upon this relic from my grade school days - one bright day around 1976-1978, the School Board sat down and decided that the best way to introduce frightening concepts like molestation and VD to seven year old children who didn’t even know what their reproductive glands were for - other than making sissies without missing the bowl - was to distribute pamphlets featuring their old pal, Spider-Man, rather than engage in conversation or answer any uncomfortable questions.
“Here ya go kids, Spidey’s gonna teach ya some creepy things about your boy and girl parts that State law requires us to communicate to you somehow - they weren’t very specific about what methods we used. Enjoy your scary comic books, it’s teacher’s nap time now!”
I wonder how much I could get for this baby on eBay. Hopefully enough to pay my therapy bills for my still-recurring nightmares of spiders on my johnson and web fluid emerging from scary new places.
Fortunately, the last decade of American scientific research has taught us so much that we didn’t know back then - for instance, masturbation does, in fact, drive most people dangerously insane and is deadly to you and those you care for. Also, venereal disease is not contagious, and if you ignore it long enough it will, in fact, go away. Where would we be without the miracles of modern science?
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