Comics Cavern

Reading New Mutants #4 today really weirded me out - not just because of all the plot and character inconsistencies, but because Dani Moonstar looked about two months older than she did in this Bob McLeod illustration from 1985. Back then America’s first Zombie president was beginning his second term, and the world was marveling at the amazing new invention called the Compact Disc, while saving their pennies for one of them fancy VHS doohickies, what let you watch a Hollywood pitcher from the comfort of your very own home!

That was 25 years ago - most people reading New Mutants #4 weren’t even Zygotes yet. The people who were alive and reading comics at the time have gone from nerdy virgins to super-cool bad ass studs, to unemployed losers in need of organ transplants. All Dani did was lose here mutant and valkyrie powers, and she acts like it’s the end of the world. It was a very depressing read from that perspective.

Less depressing, but equally confusing - those 25-year-old New Mutants comics featured bright, blaring cover insignia celebrating Marvel’s 25th anniversary. 25 years later, we’re celebrating Marvel’s 70th anniversary. If you’re a comics historian, it’s not too hard to figure out - back then, they were celebrating years since publishing under the “Marvel” banner, whereas now they’re celebrating everything that ever hit the presses since the first pulp sprung from the mind of Martin Goodman, founder of Timely, which would later rename itself Marvel, but not before inventing profitable characters like Captain America and the Sub-Mariner.

Still, who goes out of their way to look older? Not Dani Moonstar, that’s for sure. Or Stan Lee. All praise to a god of comics, but seriously, he has to be like 119 or something by now, right? He was in his 30s when Martin Goodman hired him for Timely… 70 years ago.