Just when I thought for sure that Marvel Zombies was gonna run out of steam, they go and throw in Fred Van Lente and Howard the Duck.
There isn’t a word to describe the zombie greatness. I’m hard at work coining one, I’ll let you know when I’ve got it. Something like, “Lentezombilicious”?
Yeah - not quite there yet. It’s still in the early stages.
Empire Online’s “50 Worst Movies Ever Made List” is, understandably, chock-full of comic adaptations. Come on, be honest: we get excited every time we hear that a beloved comics property is headed for the Cineplex, and about 60% of the time the results live up to the hype.
But the big-screen adaptations that suck, suck bad.
And back in the Dark Ages - a time that lasted pretty much until the release of the first X-Men flick - it was a given that most comics films were sad jokes. The only exceptions I can think of were the first 3 Superman movies and Tim Burton’s “Batman” and “Batman Returns”.
Spider-Man 3 - easily the lamest of the trilogy - kicked off Empire’s hall of shame list, coming in at No. 50. Coming in at No. 46 is a movie that I’m frankly surprised isn’t way higher on the list - I would have thought the abomination that was Howard the Duck would have made at least the top 5, but I guess the folks at Empire are just kind to animals. Or, you know, terrible pre-CGI era puppets that bare no resemblance to animals whatsoever.
What George Lucas did with a mega-movie budget and one of Marvel’s most offbeat and subversive characters was a crime against comics. On the plus side, there was some hot duck-on-Lea Thompson action, so I suppose that redeems it a wee bit.
Howard the Duck:
Holy s**t, that AXE body spray really works! What is it, like a mix of Old Spice and GHB?!?
I mean, this hot chick is about to commit bestiality - and not even cool, Catherine the Great-style bestiality! She’s gonna have pork with duck sauce!
