Empire Online’s “50 Worst Movies Ever Made List” is, understandably, chock-full of comic adaptations. Come on, be honest: we get excited every time we hear that a beloved comics property is headed for the Cineplex, and about 60% of the time the results live up to the hype.

But the big-screen adaptations that suck, suck bad.

And back in the Dark Ages - a time that lasted pretty much until the release of the first X-Men flick - it was a given that most comics films were sad jokes. The only exceptions I can think of were the first 3 Superman movies and Tim Burton’s “Batman” and “Batman Returns”.

Spider-Man 3 - easily the lamest of the trilogy - kicked off Empire’s hall of shame list, coming in at No. 50. Coming in at No. 46 is a movie that I’m frankly surprised isn’t way higher on the list - I would have thought the abomination that was Howard the Duck would have made at least the top 5, but I guess the folks at Empire are just kind to animals. Or, you know, terrible pre-CGI era puppets that bare no resemblance to animals whatsoever.

What George Lucas did with a mega-movie budget and one of Marvel’s most offbeat and subversive characters was a crime against comics. On the plus side, there was some hot duck-on-Lea Thompson action, so I suppose that redeems it a wee bit.

Our overseas comics culture cousins at Empire Online have put together a list of their picks for the top 50 worst movies ever - sadly, it’s no surprise that it’s as stuffed with comics as my bathroom magazine rack.

Let’s face it, we’ve come along way since David Hasselhoff played Nick Fury, and the future is looking good for the superhero movie - but we’re still living in a world where for every Dark Knight there are two Hulks. Like, literally.

Kicking off Empire’s list at No. 50 is none other than Spider-Man 3 - Spidey dutifully followed in the X-Men’s footsteps by producing a 3rd film that sucked so hard it killed its previously vibrant franchise.

Of course, both Marvel staples are now in “reboot” mode, which will lead either to disaster or redemption for the characters’ cinematic lives. And Spider-Man is headed to Broadway, in a Julie Taymor/U2 produced 5000 kabillion musical that is already plagued with so many budget and production problems - and is such a stupid idea to begin with - that even Mephisto couldn’t save it. Actually, he’s probably the Executive Producer.

The Screen Team, featuring the awesome woman-of-the-Web Katrina Hill, shows us some celebs reading for the Spider-Man reboot.

It’s very funny, but here are some sobering facts:

• This 3 minute, no-budget parody is almost certainly 10 times better than the next kajillion dollar Spidey-flick is going to be. There’s no denying it’s better than Elektra!

• Similarly, the Screen Team has managed to do with no budget and 3 minutes what Julie Taymor, Bono and the Edge have failed to accomplish over the course of 7 months and like 100 mil: actually produce something besides gossip and rumors!

• The actors portraying the celebs are, for the most part, so very much more talented than the collosal douchebags they’re impersonating that it is just a crying shame.

Good lord, last night was a whirlwind of sensory overload: JSA on Smallville, Firestorm on Batman: The Brave and the Bold, and - busy week that it was - I finally had enough free hours to spend some quality time with the Planet Hulk DVD!

Each one was really impressive in its way; it was really nice to watch 3 consecutive comics adaptations and not be disappointed once. That’s rare - as comics media lovers know, for every Spider-Man 2 there’s an Elektra, and for every Green Lantern: First Flight there’s a Superman/Batman: Public Enemies.

But B & B, Smallville and Planet Hulk all delivered the goods big-time. I don’t know that I’m ready to declare a best-out-of-three just yet, but I will say that Planet Hulk is super-badass-awesome, a truly worthy adaptation of the epic storyline.

If you’re living under a rock and haven’t either watched it or ordered it yet, take a peek at the animated gladiator alien action!