Sesame Street NAILS Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark, the indignant, unapologetic monster that refuses to die.

I've seen MTV is now posting rave reviews for the revamped, post-Taymor production, but having seen both iterations of the show allow me to state for the record that MTV is full of shit. I know, shocking, right?

Grover, on the other hand, tells it like it is.

...Yaaay?

Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark marches forward, failed safety inspections, deeply rooted creative failings, and total lack of sense be damned. Bono insists that after a massive script overhaul, the removal and replacement of director Julie Taymor, and the longest run in previews in Broadway history by an enormous margin... pause for breath - Turn Off the Dark will open, for realsies, in June.

From The Hollywood Reporter:

"We're opening Spider-Man on the 14th," he said after the American Idol finale, during which he and the Edge performed "Rise Above," a song from the production. "I promise it's not been canceled, and we're very excited about it. It's almost there -- it will be there by opening night."

So does that mean that, freed from the out-of-control Taymor, Bono has embraced change, and we can expect a new kind of Spidey show from replacement director Philp McKinley?

"He came in to fill impossible shoes -- Julie Taymor -- she's a genius and I miss her so much," Bono said.

Sounds like a "no," then. Sigh.

So the umpteenth spinoff of the Law & Order Franchise is boldly going where comics journalists have bafflingly feared to tread, and where even theatre critics waited untold months to cover for the (apparently justified) fear of arousing the wrath of Disney.

Director Julie Taymor and the once insufferably-humanitarian Bono, it seems, conjure as much clout and wield it as menacingly as over-the-top mad industrialist supervillain Norman Osborn.

Well, now that the show has closed pending several changes, including a replacement for Ego the Living Planet Taymor, the vultures are coming out, and Law & Order: Criminal Intent explores a case that is not at all implausible had the show continued unchecked with its unconscionably lackluster safety measures - that's right, someone falls to their death.

TV Guide describes the story ripped from January's headlines:

The story will focus on a high-flying show called Icarus, which detectives begin investigating when a botched stunt leads to one of the actor's death. Suspects include a "high-strung and larger than life" director possibly modeled after Spider-Man's one-time director Julie Taymor. The episode also features a bisexual rock-star composer named Arno.

The fate-temptingly titled Broadway horror-show Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark has thankfully shut down before any actual deaths of cast, crew or paying audience member. Sadly, not before stuntman Christopher Tierney was pronounced "lucky to be a live" by doctors, after he - let's just go ahead and quote The Wrap,

suffered a fractured skull, a broken scapula, a broken bone close to his elbow, four broken ribs, a bruised lung and three fractured vertebrae

and not before shattering the record for longest running show in previews (back in January).

The show was a disaster on just about every conceivable level, the fretting and joking about its abominable safety standards and technical amateurism serving to distract from a very basic set of creative failings. After last night's performance, the show is reportedly being retooled with a new book by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa,  two new songs by Bono and The Edge, and a new director, with an eye toward re-opening in June.  While I am a great fan of Aguirre-Sacasa's work, I don't think anyone would hold it against Disney if they were to quietly walk away, particularly with such high-profile Spidey projects on the horizon such as The Amazing Spider-Man movie and the Ultimate Spider-Man animated series, which could easily recoup the money and good will already expended on Turn Off the Dark.