Being a Marvel-owned character these days means having a great deal of indignity heaped upon your legacy.

Poor Spider-Man is literally being pimped out on Broadway, starring in the world's most dangerous play, when not shilling for New York's noxious Mayor Bloomberg in Spider-Man: You're Hired!, a nauseating love letter to his majesty initially released as a free New York Daily News supplement in November, then re-released to the retail market last week with a $3.99 cover price, a move that pretty much redefines "balls" in an oversaturated marketplace full of overpriced books.

... and here I thought they called him the "Metrocard Mayor" because of the unprecedented price hikes despite the MTA's insanely high profits and massive layoffs. And cooked books.

But anyway. So then there's Nick Fury, who in comics has been the star of some of Marvel's greatest books, by creators ranging from Kirby to Steranko to Hickman. But let's face it, One-Eye Eagle doesn't exactly have a history of faring well in other media. Let's remember that his first ever onscreen portrayal was this guy:

Then he was used as a plot device, to rather underwhelming effect, in Iron Man 2. Now - well, apparently his job is up for grabs to anyone with a laptop and a willingness to pimp Acuras.

Screen Rant describes the process of participating on the viral marketing website joinshield.com, or as your web browser's title bar refers to it, it, "Acura - S.H.I.E.L.D."

You may have thought SHIELD was a secret government organization, but it’s actually corporate owned by Acura. The next step involves you choosing your vehicle, and I chose the S.H.I.E.L.D. edition of the Acura MDX which offers “superior tactical performance, firepower and a high-grade emergency exoskeleton.” An exoskeleton? Is that a movie hint?

Let’s get serious. We’re an Agent of SHIELD and the world is counting on us. Let’s open our first case file with our newly granted access. The site features live-action actors playing agents, who provide your briefs. Our first task is dealing with an a “alien artifact” (Thor’s hammer) which is causing intense electromagnetic energy. Luckily, Acura augmented our vehicles to handle this.

Of course they did. if you've got lots of time on your hands and really like this sort of thing, or are just desperate for something to do at work, by all means have at it. I personally tried it and didn't find it all that enjoyable.

joinshield.com promotional video from WonderCon

Didn't make me look forward to Thor any less, but it certainly didn't get me any more enthused. Not entirely sure who thought a long, convoluted, interactive Acura ad would have that effect to begin with, but I suspect they work in marketing divisions of Disney and Acura and pull in roughly six figures and that they can whip up a bitchin' PowerPoint presentation.