In a culture that values the spectacle of a public meltdown over talent, it pays to be a vapid a-hole or a borderline schizo like never before. Witness TWO sold-out nights of Charlie Sheen's meth-induced rants at Radio City Music Hall. You think people would have lined up to watch the mediocre star of the mediocre show Two and a Half Men? You're dreaming.

We want tiger blood!

The latest kinda-sorta-famousish guy to cash in on the crazy craze is wizened former Van Halen fill-in guy Sammy Hagar, who decided that the launch of his autobiography was a good time let loose with this revelation to MTV News:

"[Aliens] were plugged into me. It was a download situation. This was long before computers or any kind of wireless. There weren’t even wireless telephones. Looking back now, it was like, 'Fuck, they downloaded something into me!' Or they uploaded something from my brain, like an experiment."

The real shocker here is that MTV still covers stories that pertain in any way to music. As for Hagar getting stuff uploaded to his, uh, pipeline - well that's between him and Xenu.